GRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

So the past three days now I have had dreams and thoughts about my ex boyfriend I lay in bed with another man and all I can see when I close my eyes is Justin (my ex) I feel horrible for doing this but the harder I try to get this out of my head the stronger I can start feeling Justin behind me holding me, and I can feel his breath on my ear whispering "I love you" Like we used to do when we were together just having one of our lazy days. I havent really told anyone this yet, because I feel so bad!! And I know I shouldnt do that but I can seriously feel him wrap his arm around me, its kinda creepy. Ok it really is creepy. I decided to break up with him but yet lately I have felt these things and I want him to be with me, to tell me its ok and that he still loves me. I dont have any of that anymore. And I know my best friend will read this some time soon, but Im going to say it anyways I feel like I am loosing her. our lives are going in different directions, not to mention her bf and me are at eachothers throats at the moment and that fight probably wont end. He told me last night to start pulling, cuz he said I was going to loose her. I told him I am the best friend and I wont pull because she will make her own decisions. I know what I want her to do but I wont say it because what consitutes my opinion to be right. I love the kid, and she will be around no matter what =D But back on the Justin subject..... I texted him last night to tell me he loved me, which he did not... to tell you the truth I balled my eyes out. And thats how I fell asleep last night. I am lost on what I want these days, though I thought I knew what I wanted... but maybe doing the things I am doing/did is going to help me make the decision I need to make.