Should I?

I am not sure if I should write how I feel today or not. Because everytime I do I jinx it :( And nothing has come out of it that I liked at all... But the other day I sent an email to my exboyfriend and I appologized for hurting him as bad as I did, and I mainly just wanted to see if he was still on earth. But of course only bad came from this message I sent him... What am I to do lol not talk to anyone? Cuz I think I am better that way I can't get myself into trouble. But tonight I feel good. I am soooo sore but I feel myself changing. Wish me luck to keep it going!!! I already lost three pounds!!!! Whoot go me :p